About those trees...

If I were a parish priest, the royal wedding, given the way that royal doings have a tendency to become fashionable, might provide some cause for concern. I mean what is one to say to the couple who wish to place a line of potted trees up either side of the nave for the celebration of their nuptials?
Fear not! The solution is to inquire as to whether they belong to the bridal party - or to that of the groom. In the present instance I understand that the arboreal specimens in Westminster Abbey were there as friends of the groom's father. In fact their conversations are said by some to be legendary.

Fortunately few non-royals are likely to admit to talking to trees!